
	Archives: Stories Sorted by Date 2004: 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 2005: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 2006: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Sep, Oct, Nov, Dec

Aug 31: Renewable Energy Fashion & the Solar Chicken

Award presentation to schoolchildren in recognition of their creative ideas of the fun application of renewable energy (photo and caption by HK Electric).

Sometimes a photo really says more than a 1,000 words! Or more than 10,000 words, as in this case. This PR shot came to us together with another HK Electric media release, titled Over 10,000 took part in renewable energy campaign, part of their major Smart Power Campaign.

HEC's media releases are a frequent source of fine information. But sometimes they are full of unintended amusement, often just begging to be made fun of, like the photo above. A few possible alternate captions:

Guinness Book record for largest MP3 player in the world?
If the MP3 player would be smaller, could the solar cell hat be smaller and more fashionable as well?
This MP3 player must have an amazing memory size, but it only seems to work when the sun is shining?
Young model showcasing the latest Lamma eco-fashion? I can't wait to see these hats and MP3 players on Yung Shue Wan Main Street!
This chicken on a trolley, wouldn't it look cute to roll it down Main Street? It would fit right in with the dogs in buggies, monocycles and skateboards.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to the beach ASAP!
Chicken on the Power Station beach, complete with surfboard, sun umbrella, an MP3 player and a deep suntan?
Does this solar umbrella actually protect the chicken from the sun? It looks like it got too much sun already...
Solar chicken roast for the next Lamma Fun Day on Sun, Oct 20?
Award for the most creatively roasted chicken, awarded by KFC?
Email me YOUR captions and I'll add them here!

Here's another little gem from HK Electric's marketing people. Doesn't the Lamma Power Station above look so pretty and soooo green! You can email this little Flash animation to your family, friends and foes by clicking here.

Click here to view the full "Over 10,000..." media release.

Aug 30: What Colour Is Your Brain Today?

Lamma-zine Artist of the Month of August 2006: Tamara Norris!

Click below to read the rest of Tamara's Artist Statement & view her Art Gallery!

Aug 29: The Trials & Tribulations of a Forum Administrator

"The Story of the Valiant But Ultimately Futile Battle of Lamma-Gung Against the Vile and Loathsome Link Spammers"

Administrating an Internet forum like the one on this website used to be quite easy and simple. Weekly full backups, pay the quarterly hosting bill, helping a few new members to register or reset their lost passwords, giving some occasional advice on netiquette (online behaviour guidelines, like "No personal attacks!"). That was about the extent of it, a few hours per week at the most. Idyllic, innocent days...

Nowadays, the all-pervasive online spam flood has spread from emails to forums. There's a heated arms race going on between so-called "link spammers" and forum administrators like myself. Search engines are ranking websites by number of other websites linking to them, giving them more traffic and more business resulting from this traffic. The website link in the profile of any forum member does count and will help that site to attract more traffic via the search engines.

More and more spammers simply automatically register thousands of new fake members in forums all over the Internet. Most of the recent member registrations in our 1552-member forum are spam these days, despite various anti-measures I've set up over the last few months, when the spam avalanche started:

Blocking the spammers' major email hosts (mostly Russian .ru domains),
Confirming that the registered email address is active, via return email,
Requiring a visual confirmation (a captcha, see right) for registrations to confuse the register robots,
Reading up on the latest developments in the forum-spam wars,
Confirming each registration manually, which is what I do daily now, weeding out the spammers by not confirming activation of new fake members.

Some of these spam members even post messages automatically in random topics, promoting the spammer's websites: cheap tickets, free tattoo designs, all types of pharmaceuticals, any type of shopping, but some of them pornographic. The forum moderators or administrator have to hand-delete these spam messages as soon as they see and recognise one. The administrator then has to delete the fake members individually as well. Sample names: comprar-viagra-espana, slitherz2040, pornnnn, baranow129.

Next step in this ever-escalating spam wars: preventing fake registrations by asking unique questions with unique answers when a new member registers, something a registration robot could not answer automatically. Quite a number of changes will be necessary in the forum program to make this possible.

It means spending a lot of intimate, heavy time with acronyms and abbreviations like php, mods, mySQL, Linux, FTP, JavaScript, etc., not my favourite activity anymore these days. I used to just LOVE this stuff in my cybergeek days. But any small mistake and the forums will crash. Wish me luck. I'll be sorry for any inconvenience caused to our loyal, real, non-fake forum members.

Aug 28: Playground Public Toilet Humour

Banner by the DAB party and Lammadonna on Main Street, proudly announcing to all passers-by the official opening of the new Public Toilet!

Toilet, playground, plus left-over construction waste and machinery

Another proud (and expensive) development by the LCSD Dept.
But what kind of "Leisure and Cultural Services" are planned in this Public Toilet?

Were the former temporary squat toilets so complicated that they needed "User Instructions" on the wall inside!

Aug 27: Happy 16. Birthday, Saheb!

Do you remember your own 16. Birthday, that magical age when you felt like becoming almost an adult, your parents finally treating you less like a child and the future looked so full of promises and possibilities? Yeah, me neither...

Well, anyway, this is the next year of Lamma's Generation Y coming of age. Born in 1990, many of them were born on Lamma and brought up in HK's international school. Many of them are multi-national, multi-racial, brimming with self-confidence, having travelled the world already, a very special breed indeed. The Net Generation, Millennials, iGeneration, Second Baby Boom, Google Generation, Myspace Generation, MyPod Generation (from the fusion of "Myspace" and "iPod") are just a few of the monikers that the media have applied to them in a futile attempt to categorise them.

Note the recent,

"cool" eyebrow piercing

This is the generation that grew up with the Internet, PCs, CDs, DVDs, video games, mobile phones, for whom the moon landing and the cold war are just ancient history, having been born after the Berlin Wall fell and even after the Tiananmen Square Massacre. It would be most fascinating to read their very own blogs...

Saheb, son of Prafull Ambekar (proprietor of the Deli Lamma) turned "Sweet 16" today. Of course, the proud dad threw a big party (free snacks, Happy Hour all day!). Saheb, the very popular founder/captain of the Lamma Football Club invited all his friends, so it was a full house, of course. Just look at all the girls below attending the party of this very handsome lad. I'd have done (almost) anything at that age to be that popular...

A few more of the pictures I took at yesterday night's party (click to enlarge):

Aug 26: 'Power Station Beach Energizes Canine Capers'

Jay Scott Kanes (words and pictures)
STBWFLA (Soon-To-Become-World-Famous Lamma Author):

Buddies relax

Most Lamma residents and regular visitors choose favorite places on this tropical island. The preferred spots vary � maybe a table at the Spicy Island, a seaside seat at the New Holiday Mood Grill, a hilltop perch, a residential balcony or a rooftop garden.

For Lamma's largest visible minority, its dogs, the choice of �best location� couldn't be simpler. Their near-unanimous decision amounts to a �no-brainer�.

Chum arrives

�For us, it's Power Station Beach. That�s fun-central, the place to socialize and frolic,� they�ll say (to anyone listening intently enough).

As the sun sets, Lamma's canines gather there to party and play. Some bring their people. Others arrive alone. �There's no greater doggy joy than when friends arrive,� said a human tagging along.

Doggy waters

Race and chase

�Dogs generally come here once the afternoon heat subsides. Sometimes a few congregate. More often, it's a few dozen. Counting's tough because they run, chase, wrestle, splash and paddle.�

Canine beach activities resemble those of people. They enjoy digging, frolicking, jogging, chasing Frisbees or balls, bird watching, beach combing and collecting items (usually sticks, not seashells), but always faster and more avidly than humans.

Stick-Up!

The attending people provide bizarre sound effects by constantly calling the animals' names: �Ah-Mok, Alphie, Bart, Big Dog, Cookie, Gail, Go-go, Hanna, Laura, Lucky, Mika, Sammy, Sasha, Seymour, Snowy, Swampy� and many others.

Sandy face

Unlike people strolling along the same sand, the dogs seldom denounce the visual blight, noise and pollution from HK Electric's adjacent facilities. �They're tolerant that way,� said a human observer.

Aug 25: 'Artist's Conk Is a Large Polypore'

Today, exploring the neighbourhood after a photo shoot at the children's playground, Parksy the Soundman pointed me to these beautiful mushrooms. He categorically and vehemently denied that these are his own "magic mushrooms".

Bigger than a large hand, they're growing out of the trunk of a 5-storey-high tree that was severely damaged in typhoon Prapiroon. The most unusual, snow-white edge and bottom is what attracted me first.

In the wet and humid mushroom-friendly weather recently, these have been growing rapidly in the last few weeks. They expanded through and around the long needles fallen on them from the tree they're feeding on as parasites. See the white bottom of the toadstools below, where the very long needles have become incorporated into the fungi:

Posting these pictures in our "Flora & Fauna" forum got a quick reply from our very active, most helpful and extremely knowledgeable moderator Alan:

Alan - Discussions forum senior moderator, quoting from the Fairfax County Public School website:

Ganoderma applanatum.
Common Name: Artist's Conk

"Artist's Conk is a large polypore, also called a "shelf mushroom." Polypores are wide and flat, and they usually grow on tree trunks or on the sides of stumps and fallen logs.

Artist's Conk can grow up to 20 inches wide. They have a woody feel and are rough and horny. Usually, they are fairly flat, but sometimes they are hoof-shaped.

These fungi are gray to brownish in color, but can be green when covered with algae or moss. Artist's Conks grow year-round. You can discover how old they are the same way you can a tree. By cutting it in half, you can count layers. Each layer represents a year.

Artist's Conk can grow by itself or in small groups. They grow on dead wood, and sometimes on wounds in living trees. When it grows on living trees it is a parasite. This fungi weakens the wood it grows on, making places for insects and woodpeckers to start holes.

This fungi gets its name because when you flip it over you can carve writing or pictures in it. The picture will stay in the fungus and cannot be erased. This fungus is not edible."

P.S. On Lamma, even the mushrooms are artistic!

Aug 24: 'My Life on the Island'

There are so many good (and a few great) photographers living on Lamma Island, they've got their own group on the Internet's largest photo sharing website Flickr. The Lamma group has been founded by Laudable Lamma Luminary Mr DickStock and has grown to 13 members now, including yours truly (see above).

Searching for the tag (keyword) "Lamma" on Flickr, you'll get this result:

We found 5,060 photos about Lamma.

Listing the "most interesting" (most viewed and commented on, I believe) Lamma photos, there are some truly amazing shots in there. See the example from Fernando Porto on the right: Hung Shing Yeh life guard. Click below for the:

Most interesting Lamma photos.

Let's highlight the Lamma photographs of a little-known photographer in the "Lamma" group, Natrine. All that she likes to reveal about herself is: "I'm Female and 27." She also gets loads of German comments for most of her photos...

Have a look at her amazing photos of Lamma Island by clicking on my little thumbnail collage below, from her "My life on the island" Flickr set of photos. Or click here for a Flickr slide show!

Aug 23: $1,000 Reward for Finding Tommy!

Aren't these yellow eyes and snow-white/pitch-black fur worth $1,000? Have you seen this male cat called Tommy? Contact Leggova by email or myself and the cash could be yours!

Tommy went missing yesterday in Ko Long Village. He's a real house cat who doesn't like sleeping outside and comes when called by name. More info in our forum!

$1,000 buys a lot of drinks on pet-loving Lamma, or a lot of cat food! Let's start a stampede of people swarming all over Ko Long and neighbouring villages, checking out every potential hiding place, inspecting every nook and cranny, turning over anything a cat could hide under...till they'll find Tommy and return him home safely! Let's hope for some good news very soon!

Aug 22: 'Gum on My Bum'

Today, we've got another Lamma ferry story � but with a different twist � from our new Lamma forum member Ji Woo, a first-time Lamma-zine contributor.

He has the rare talent of writing about a mundane but annoying event in an amusing and entertaining way, showing the true Lamma spirit: smirking in the face of adversity. After initially being upset about his gummy misfortune, he overcame it and even made lots of fun of it and himself! Ji Woo, a truly worthy Lammaite!

After Ji Woo's initial message below � posted in our forums � a typically unruly discussion ensued and it was confirmed that "poo on da shoe" is even worse than "gum on da bum". Our "virtually reborn" Ghost Teacher Spinoza � haunting the forums again during this year's double Chinese ghost month � insisted on his very-hard-to-believe innocence in this gum matter. But then he digressed as usual and uttered the dire and horrendous threat of "singing sea shanties in a tragic baritone on the 8:15 AM ferry". Truly an urgent case for imminent application of HK's anti-terror laws!

Ji Woo - New forum member, quoting from his "Gum on the Bum" topic:

Aug 14: Dear Gummer

I would just like to let you, the person(s) who stuck chewing gum on one of seats on the 8.15am YSW to Central ferry last Saturday morning, know that, yes, you really did mess up my morning. Thanks.

I'm not quite sure what drove you to wedge your quid of soiled mouth stodge into the back of that seat. Were you hoping to save it for later? Was the bin really too far for you to reach? Has that quaint old custom of wrapping up your spittled spearmint into the wrapper and the depositing it away from human contact somehow passed you by?

Yes, I should have spotted the gum. But it was early on a Saturday morning and I was a little woozy. And people don�t usually expect to find something like that on a seat on the Lamma ferry. We put up with the smokers lighting up as soon as they get off/on the ferry, poor souls, destined to a miserable death from lung cancer, but having to put up with gum on seats? What next? A turd, perhaps? Fresh vomit?

Just to give you the satisfaction I'm sure you crave, I realized I had your gum on my bum when I got off the ferry and stopped off at the IFC loos to perform a necessary morning ablution. I went to pull down my trousers and found my shirt tail stuck to the seat of my trousers. (I wear long, untucked shirts.) A quick grope around my backside revealed your gift. The gum then got stuck on my hand, the loo roll, my shirt cuffs and, oddly, on my eyebrow. (I must have scratched my brow with the weariness of it all.)

The good news is that olive oil really works. It dissolves the gum neatly and I saved my trousers and shirt. I don't have an extensive wardrobe, and the shirt was a gift, so I was happy to get the stuff cleaned off.

I've kept a bit of your gum, though, and I am flirting with the idea of getting the DNA tested and tracking you down. We have such a special relationship after all: your gob on my arse.
Lovely.

Aug 16: Looking on the bright side, I was lucky enough to have a very minty bottom that morning, which can't be bad.

Aug 23: Dear Gum Person,

Just to let you know, spit wad, the olive oil stain proved tenacious and I had to bin those pants. I bought a new pair yesterday for $179 from G2000. They are black. So, gobber, if you see a tall person wearing a cheap-ish pair of new black trousers inspecting ferry seats for mouth turds, that's me. Why not come over and say hi? I'll introduce you to my backside.

Oh, the shirt I kept, despite the olive oil stain. So if you see a tall person wearing a cheap-ish pair of new black trousers inspecting ferry seats for mouth turds wearing a big black shirt with an olive oil stain on the back, I'll bet that's me.

P.S. Say hello to Ji Woo when you see him on the ferry, now that everybody has a good idea about how he looks like. One more tip: He might NOT look Asian...

Aug 21: Lama Walks on...

The Lamma-zine has recently published an obituary for one of the most popular dogs in Yung Shue Wan, the late Dalai (Aug 4: First, Last Rays for Dalai, Her Fluffiness)

How are his family and siblings doing after this sad loss? Petri has submitted a picture of Lama taken yesterday on Main Street, plus a very suitable hit song:

Petri - Human Companion of the late Dalai:

"Lama (brother of Mandela and late Dalai) braving the elements today. It should be noted that he's kitted out with Liverpool FC's new yellow wet-weather away outfit for quadrupeds!"

"Walk on, through the wind
Walk on, through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone."

� 1945, Richard Rodgers & Oscar Hammerstein.
"You'll Never Walk Alone" was written for the 1945 Broadway musical play Carousel .
"You'll Never Walk Alone" is closely associated with Liverpool Football Club.

Aug 20: Scanner Jam Art Jam

I was scanning this flyer for Tamara's Art Jam (see Aug 13) when my new 2nd-hand scanner broke down right in the middle of scanning. Instead of the flyer (right) I got this intricate black bit pattern on my screen (below left)!

It inspired me to play around with it and finally generate ALL the computer graphics below from this single hardware error pattern, in one long happy afternoon and evening, full of creative vivid vibrations. Tamara's flyers seem to have an amazing, creative impact on some people (and their scanners! ;-)

Using my updated Photoshop program (CS 2 with many added filters, mostly "Kai's Power Tools"), it was a great performance test for my new, very fast PC (3GHz dual core Intel CPU). The new PC rocks! The scanner jam initiated an art jam, kind of poetic justice, isn't it?

I know I had promised not to show any of my computer graphics anymore in public because I never got any kind of feedback. I assume this means that nobody actually likes or dislikes them enough to tell me?

But you know what? I don't really care and will continue to generate these graphics occasionally. These computer art jams are just too much fun and there could be more in the future! Beware!

Aug 19: Cuddly Little Fruit Bats Love Longans!

Rarely ever have we seen good photos of local bats on Lamma. Petri the Batmaaaan shot all of these from his balcony, flashing these "fruity bats" the other night with his pocket cam. Yes, these cute little critters love the deliciously sweet & tangy longans which seem to be just the perfect size for their snouts! The longan fruit season is coming to an end, but they're still at it and can be seen in action after midnight.

The cute title of this story was written by Petri as well, in addition to all the pictures and the words below! I love Lamma-zine contributors like him!

How to take photos of bats in flight at night? Petri offers this little beginner's guide for Lamma's legions of talented and passionate hobby photographers:

Set your camera to the highest resolution, widest angle and get as close as possible! Fix the focus to the estimated distance. Set the ISO to 50 to keep graininess low, reduce the flash intensity (you'll get all-white "snow bats" otherwise!). No idea how to avoid the massive white "red-eye" effect, though.

Switch the screen off to keep it from distracting the very shy bats and simply hold the camera in your outreached palm (while staying very still yourself) until you can hear one of them in a tree near you. Then just point in the general direction and pull the trigger! Happy hunting! (Click to enlarge Petri's great photos.)

Aug 18: Swarming Dragonflies

Big swarms of dragonflies are enchanting Yung Shue Wan Village in late summer, looking for a mate before dying. For some unknown reasons, the swarms seem attracted by this black sunroof netting above.

Swarming dragonflies will forever remind me of HK's short but blazingly hot dotcom boom summer, lasting just one single summer in the year 2000. The Li Ka-shing-financed "corporate dotcom startup", where I was the General Manager and Creative Director, had a dragonfly in its logo. It died end of Aug 2000. I vividly remember the huge swarms of dragonflies dancing quietly and solemnly outside our brand-new office's windows. It looked like a "death watch", mourning our startup's sad demise...

Aug 17: 'Ode to the Lover of Mrs Kay'

Tjungarayi - a new poem and some fictional prose from an aspiring Lamma writer. The Lamma-zine is proud to present the second installment in his Mrs Kay saga. We've heard from her before, on June 12:

1 Ode to the Lover of Mrs Kay

Questions abound about Mrs Kay's fate.

So this wee tale to you I'll relate.

Regarding Mrs Kay's amorous tastes,

This belle of the isle was not so chaste!

Some background digression, I'll undertake,

One lover carried far too much weight

His tender ego she did now deflate,

By joking about his enormous waist.

This lover it seems was marred by the fates

He blabbered and made to fulminate.

With mind awry, with maddened red face,

Arms akimbo, far from sedate.

"You will rue your jest," he did indicate,

Blustering over his onions and steak.

Snatched his fork from his stoneware plate,

Fist clenched about it to gesticulate.

2

A foolish chide as events would dictate,

Made her rise and depart the place.

Was 2nd August she left her date,

One month later she would meet her fate.

This man she spurned did ruminate.

He planned and schemed for revenges sake,

A devilish desire soon set to sate

Of a plot divested with murderous hate

Its often not realised how wide are the straits

That separated this lover who hastened to wait.

Till evenings dusk in a nauseous state

He boarded the ferry, rushed through the gate.

Fluorescent lights shined off his face

This lover looked forward his heart a pace.

And now aboard strode a nervous gait

His devlish deed to seal her fate.

The ferry berthed and amidst the haste

The jilted lover quickened his pace.

"This will I do," and he began to shake

"Her life is mine, my right to take."

3 He slinked up the hill at a quarter past eight

Silent, deadly, fleet as a snake

His breath did hiss and sibilate

Vengeance with cold hate did correlate.

Crept over the fence and around the gate

Espied her bike, a shadowy shape,

Leaning alongside, beside the crates

With delirious spite his hands did shake.

Afraid Mrs Kay would now awake

He for a moment did hesitate

Then snipped the wires to Mrs Kay's brakes!

Oh wicked deed. Oh venomous hate!

Left naught a trace to indicate

His woeful deed none could emulate.

Pale moonlight wreathed his wretched face

Making guilty egress to escape

Now Mrs Kay was feeling sedate

With little to do she prepared a cake.

Whisked the eggs with almond flakes

And into the oven timed to bake

4

So of to bed to regenerate

Mrs Kay reclined to rehabilitate

The Banyan bay lay still as a lake

Till the dawn breeze the leaves did shake

The morning's sun lit across her face

While avian hymns lapped her awake

Bathed, plied perfume, made up her face

Relished her fare and washed her plate

Saddled her bike and rode through the gate

Descended the slope at a steady gait

Musing the love she had for this place

This isle where she chose to habitate.

The cause, her death, her untimely fate

Its needless here to regurgitate.

Suffice to say such a shameless waste

Her lover to bear this terrible weight.

The death of Mrs Kay was such a waste

Truly enough was an unkindly fate

Spurned lover, her life he did cruelly take

All for love lost and malicious hate.

Background Story:

Not many are aware of an English woman living on Lamma 1919 - 1925. Those elder Chinese surviving are shy to talk about this subject and evidence a predisposition to reticence. Understandably so, given Mrs Kay's reputed nocturnal proclivities. Many a wife lamented Emelda Kay's arrival in Hong Kong, her subsequent residence at Lamma and their husband's frequent nightly absences.

Emelda did not stay often at Lamma, preferring the sensual scented evenings and exotic excitement of the casinos in Macau. Her clients afforded her the privilege of relaxing at their salubrious apartments so she was often away from Lamma for weeks. Nevertheless, she came back to Lamma to relax and enjoy the indolent tranquility she so craved, often seen at twilight in her lime green chiffon dress and apricot-coloured Panama hat relaxing on her veranda sipping long stemmed cocktails.

Many suspect that there was more than met the eye on that torpid September day in 1925. Emelda was eternally fastidious about bicycle maintenance and it came as a surprise when the Hong Kong police resident forensic expert examined her salvaged pink bicycle from beside the ferry pier.

In 2005, I uncovered an old police report in the dusty vaults in the archive section of the Central police station submitted by Detective Superintendent Reginald Hanocock Nov 16 1925. The report states that the "?back wheel brake cord was cleanly severed, neither frayed nor worn." Compelling evidence of some nefarious deed if you ask me.

Interestingly, Detective Hanocock interviewed three times, one Edwardo Ricardo Sustine, an obese rich Portuguese owner of a disreputable chain of restaurants. It seems obvious he suspected this Portuguese in some way with Emelda Kay's death. Curiously, the case was closed due to lack of continuing leads, although it is my assumption that pressure was put on Reginald Hanocock. A year later he was transferred to the Falklands.

Interestingly enough, subsequent research unveiled further revealing facts about Emelda Kay's life. Her eldest son, Archibald Scipio Kay, disinherited by his father, joined his mother in Hong Kong in 1924. Their reunion at Kowloon was not ideal as Archie, as he was parsimoniously known, had contracted chickenpox while on the voyage and slipped on the gangplank disembarking and broke his left leg. Archibald was in Shanghai at the time of his mother's death.

To be continued?...

Aug 16: Lamma on 'Lights Out' Night

First and 2nd picture by Roz Keep, 3rd picture by Lamma-Gung

All these photos were taken shortly after 8pm on Aug 8. There were just a few houses actually switching their lights off...

Congratulations to the organisers and volunteers of the Lights Out HK campaign anyway! The massive publicity generated to raise public awareness of HK's fast-worsening air pollution was the real success story and it put some pressure on the main polluters! Well done!

Aug 15: Police Campaign: 'Fight Against Juvenile Crimes'

This Outlying Islands police publicity campaign of the Crime Prevention Bureau was recently launched on Cheung Chau Island. The opening ceremony photos on CD-ROM were just hand-delivered by "Senior Inspector Woooo-Woooo!", eh, SI Joe Wu, when he spotted me and Lamma-Por in Blue Bird Rest. Here's the best from the launch ceremony (click small images to enlarge them):

The Road Show on Sat, Aug 12 in front of YSW's City Hall and the Police Box featured police videos and posters about fighting juvenile crimes, but also the winners of the Islands-District-wide "Poster/Colour Drawing Competition". (Click below to enlarge and see more of the children's drawings):

I've been interviewing "Senior Inspector Woooo-Woooo!" recently about why they picked "Juvenile Crimes" as this year's campaign theme:

He made it very clear that juvenile crime is NOT rampant and wide-spread on Lamma, fortunately. A bit of drinking and other recreational drugs, shoplifting, some low-key, usually non-violent triad activity and occasionally unruly behaviour seems to be the full extent of local juvenile crimes. No very serious crimes � like groping, graffiti or gang warfare � at all! Let's hope that Lamma remains a pretty safe and peaceful place!

There were also stacks of leaflets available at the Road Show, some of them pretty interesting and very informative (click below to enlarge). Some of them (PC/Internet tips, hiking, cycling) are still available inside the G/F of our City Hall (opposite HSBC):

Aug 14: Road Show @ The Police Box

Ever wonder why this funny cube above is colloquially called "The Police Box"? Well, besides the obvious shape and modular, pre-fabricated construction of our "Police Report Centre" (boooring name!), it's very reminiscent of an iconic British TV series that's been running, on and off, for decades. The second season of the latest incarnation of this Sci-Fi series is being aired on HK terrestrial TV right now: "Dr. Who"! It features a time machine, called Tardis, in the shape of an official British "Police Box" (click for sound). According to Wikipedia:

Modern police box located outside Earl's Court tube station in London, which is "bristling with new technology". (Editor:
including a time machine?)

"A police box is a telephone kiosk or callbox for use by members of the police. Police boxes pre-date the era of modern telecommunications; today, every police officer (in developed countries) is likely to carry a two-way radio.

The typical police box contained a telephone linked directly to the local police station allowing officers "on the beat" to keep in contact with the station, reporting anything unusual, requesting help if necessary or even to detain prisoners until a vehicle could be sent to transport them to the station or to jail.

This was in the day when most police officers walked a beat or rode a bicycle rather than using a police car. An electric light on top of the box would flash to alert a beat officer that he was requested to contact the station. Members of the public could also use the phone (which was on the exterior) to contact a police station in an emergency."

Reading this and knowing that I'm a SciFi nut, you might well understand that every time I walk past YSW's Police Box, I expect that "an electric light on top of the box would flash" and that eerie Wooooo-woooo sound would echo across the bay. Maybe that's why Lamma's Senior Inspector is surnamed Wu? Should we nickname him "Senior Inspector Woooo-Woooo!" His "boys" (as he calls his constables) seem to spend a lot of time inside the Police Box, considering it home away from home?

Visiting Lamma feels sometimes like stepping into a time machine for Hong Kong's urbanites, traveling back to happier, greener, simpler times to a real, peaceful, fully functional village community.

But this story should have been about this year's police campaign to fight juvenile crimes, not about my juvenile jokes about our Police Box, home of our valiant, heroic, hard-working local police force! But this story is too long enough already, so let's save the photos of the police campaign for tomorrow...

Aug 13: Art-Jammin' the Deli

Yung Shue Wan's leading art critics - Mr DickStock (note the artsy shirt!) and
the Official Court Artist - are trying in vain to grasp the deeper meaning and the intrinsic, transient quasi-significances of Lamma-Gung's first-ever canvas "painting".

Can you help them to decipher it, as L-G doesn't have the faintest idea either?

Art Jam: Sunday, Aug 13, 11am-3pm, Deli Lamma:

$275, including lunch and all art supplies. Organised by Tamara (photo below).
Click for email registration, poster and Vivid Vibrations website.

This announcement and the poster lured me to participate and Tamara (see below left) was so nice to invite me and have me report about the experience back to the Lamma-zine readers via the photo gallery. Pam, a former art jam participant, described it so well and I fully agree with her:

Pam: "I had never been to an art jam previous to Tamara's, so I have nothing to compare it to, but I was still very impressed with all of her personal touches. The tone she set was very chilled-out and comfortable. The food she served was all home-made by Tamara herself, plenty of it, and so delicious. I even asked for the recipe to one of her desserts she served!

There is absolutely no set-up or clean-up for the participant at all, she does everything. She is there to explain and guide for those of us who are a bit clueless, making the whole experience very rewarding. All this, and you walk away with a full stomach, a sense of accomplishment, and your own creative art piece for only $275.00."

By the way, the two dudes above did NOT participate. They just passed through the Deli during their usual pub crawl, made some smart-aleck remarks and moved on to the next bar within a few minutes. But they're endorsing the art jam fully and loved the idea. It would have been great to see Andy � the Official Court Artist of Lamma.com.hk � get involved and see if he's REALLY such a great, prolific artist!

Next Art Jam, #4: this coming Sat, Aug 19, starting at 11am! Maybe every week after that. Ask Tamara for future dates!

Have your mouse nibble the art critic's noses above to view the entire art & photo gallery.

Aug 12: Buddha Boy Meets 'The Dude with the Long Beard'

This message was posted in the forums first. It shows the impressions of a first-time Lamma visitor who has been an active message poster in our forums for one year now, preparing for his big move from Japan to Lamma.

The Lamma-zine loves to publish stories like this one. Lamma first-timers see our home through fresh eyes, describing the places that we residents are all too familiar with in a completely new and different way. I've added a few links to buddhaboyip's story � for a lot more info about Lamma people and places.

buddhaboyjp - Forum member living in Fukuoka, Japan.

Greetings, you tropical islanders!

I was in Lamma just last week for the first time ever (and HK as well) and found it quite lovely.

Stayed at the Bali House near the pier and enjoyed walking over to the bakery for good bread and a cup of instant coffee. Yummy!
[Editor: List of hotels, holiday resorts and their agents]

Just loved the view of the 3 incense sticks, as my HK wife refers to it.

Met Ken at the Bookworm. Great food and very nice person. Steered us to a an agent and checked out a few apartments to get an idea of what is happening there.
[Editor: List of Lamma property agents]

Photos by buddhaboyip

The seafood rest. called Sau Kee, I think; the one with the set menu: great food!
[Editor: Index of Bars & Restaurants]

The walk on the Family Trail that leads to So Kwu Wan with the Rainbow Seafood Rest. That was a great walk. Found those caves the Japanese army dug. Interesting.
[Editor: Lamma Bilingual Yellow Pages]

Lastly, the the dude with the long hair and beard that reaches his knees. He was a cool looker! [Editor: Emergency Hotlines]

Hope to see you next time.
Cheers from Japan.

Aug 11: Poster Drawing & Slogan Creation Competition

Tomorrow, Aug 12, Saturday afternoon:

12 noon - 5pm, Yung Shue Wan "City Hall" (besides "Police Box"):

Exhibition of Winning Articles in the Poster Drawing & Slogan Creation Competition and Juvenile Crimes Posters Display.

For more details click on the posters below:

Aug 10: Mainland Burglar Arrested

In the early morning of Aug 3, right in the middle of typhoon Prapiroon, a burglar was arrested at the Sok Kwu Wan ferry pier.

The two-way permit holder from Mainland China was all wet from the heavy rain. He was the sole passenger on the first ferry to town. The police received a call earlier that morning from a Mo Tat Wan resident who heard a burglar leaving their flat.

After the arrest, a considerable sum of money, won by the residents in Mahjong, was found on the burglar. A CSI-style mouth swab for DNA analysis was obtained from the Mainlander. The money is being examined for fingerprints of the Mahjong players to tie the burglar to the robbery. He's also a potential suspect in a few other recent burglary cases in Yung Shue Wan and Tai Peng Village.

Aug 9: Save the Banyan Trees!

Siuyu - Member of Chinese Forum (translated by Samson, photos by Siuyu):

Has the big banyan tree ever caught your eyes as you enter the village, between the Police Box and the Beer & Babble Restaurant? Maybe it is so familiar to you that it has simply become a hardly-noticed part of the background.

But do you know that this banyan, which we have taken for granted, is being slowly eaten away by insects and parasites? One of the tree's main boughs has already rotted away, while these bugs are munching their way through another.

Furthermore, as the banyan's roots are entirely covered by concrete, affecting the tree's ability to self-nourish, the main trunk has become softer now.

What can we do to help sustain this iconic banyan tree?

This topic is currently hotly discussed in our very active Chinese forum, (Here's Yahoo's automatic (bad) translation into English). Online signature campaigns and letters to the govt. are all being considered right now. Our District Councilor, Lammadonna, has been informed in writing and will be chased to follow-up and get the govt.'s "tree doctor" to come in.

But the last time I'm aware of a tree doctor visit in YSW, they used his findings to cut down the huge, beautiful, pink-flowering tree behind the library. The two miserly little conifers (left) that Lammadonna got planted as replacements didn't survive for more than a few months and have never been replaced. Embarrassing...

There have been illegal fellings of several trees around the Sha Po Village area recently, according to police sources, but nobody was caught in the act.

A mindless act of vandalism has been committed on another tall and beautiful banyan tree just behind Lung Wah restaurant, on the path to Tai Peng, cutting down several major branches that were extending over the neighbour's land (above right). The longtime Lammaite - who helped to plant it - was very upset, calling the police and the hired vandals disappeared with their VV, narrowly avoiding being caught in the act.

Several other banyan trees suffered storm damage in the recent cat. 3 typhoons, after already having had their yearly severe pruning just a few weeks ago. It seems that even the trees that give Yung Shue Wan its name of "Banyan Tree Bay" are not safe anymore and not treated with the respect they deserve.

By the way, the name tags (left) that appeared recently on major trees around the village were put up by the Drainage & Sewage Dept. to register major trees. This is to make sure they are not damaged when they'll put in more sewage pipes for the sewage treatment plant that they are going to build in the area of the current temporary helipad. They'll start this major project right after the completion of the permanent helipad close-by.

Aug 8: The Lady with the Magic Hands

Jacky Brown - Happy client of the "Lady with the Magic Hands":

I think many Lamma residents would like to know that there is a wonderful, professional Manual Physiotherapist living on the island. By that I mean someone which can use their hands to correct many problems that people have with stiff backs, frozen shoulders, sciatica and things of that type. Her name is Flora Yan Lai Ying and she has qualifications in manual osteopathy, acupuncture, acupressure, plus extensive clinical practice.

I first experienced her skill when I had a back problem and could hardly walk. I hobbled to her house and she had to help me onto the treatment bed.

I was in such tremendous pain, I could hardly move. Flora manipulated the soft tissue on my back and legs and mobilised the nerves. After 40 minutes she asked if I could try to sit up. To my amazement, I stood up from the bed and walked across the room. I could hardly feel any pain whatsoever. In fact, I walked home at a fast pace and felt great!

Since then, she has treated me a few times for different problems and each time it's been the same success. I know many other people who Flora has treated and who have had similar experiences. Recently, my neighbour could not move and was stuck at home with upper back pain. I asked Flora to visit her. She manipulated her body for about 45 minutes after which my neighbour was able to get up and walk!

I believe Flora is an exceptionally gifted person who often gets wonderful results, just by using her hands and a detailed knowledge of the body combined with a sense of touch. Flora says she cannot treat everyone, but for those who have injuries caused by sprains and bad posture her magic hands might do wonders.

Aug 7: Chinese Forum Update � 500 Topics!

Samson - Official Court Moderator of All Chinese Forums:

The Chinese forums have just reached 500 topics (Piano for Sale), thanks to all our Chinese members and Samson's helpful, tireless moderating. Congratulations to all our Chinese-speaking/writing/reading members!

(Yu Lan photo by Steve Cray, centipede photo by GoldenPhoenixExotica).

Double Month of the Hungry Ghosts!
As we entered the double month of the hungry ghosts � the 7^th month of the Chinese calendar, spooky stories about Lamma � from hearsay to personal experiences � were shared�
Read more...
Who�s Who of the Chinese Forum?
A number of newbies � some with very similar opinions � sparked a discussion on whether these newbies are all the same person. The topic evolved into a discussion of the cultural qualities of the Chinese forum! Read more...
Lamma vs. Centipedes!
While the weather has heated up, the evil centipedes have become extra active � so did the discussion on this horrifying Scolopendra species! Our sincere condolences to Mr. Devil Fung, whose pet dog died from a centipede sting... Read more...
Lamma vs. Toads!
Apart from the centipedes, Lamma is also home to many creatures that spark irrational fears in us human habitants. The topic delves into the members� experiences and phobias of toads� Read more...
Lamma Beaches
The beaches on our fair isle have become a destination for many local holiday makers who like a good day of fun in the sun. But what are the acceptable standards of behaviour for us humans and our canines at Hung Shing Yeh and Power Station Beach? Read more...
Dining Out� Still!
The spotlight of this mouth-watering topic on food outlets on Lamma was on Best Kebab (once again) and Lung Kong (Sichuan-style Chinese restaurant opposite Dina�s Diner) this month! Read more...
Lamma Lights Out?
As the Hong Kong Lights Out campaign gathered momentum in the media, it is also enjoying support from the Chinese forum. The moderator wondered if the 8pm ferry would also consider switching off the lights for three minutes� Read more...
Sampan + VV = TV in TP
New member Babiebabie asked how she could transport a 29� TV from Aberdeen to Tai Peng New Village� Thus far, the most feasible suggestion seems to be via sampan from Aberdeen, then a Village Vehicle from Yung Shue Wan to Tai Peng. Read more...

Aug 6: Lamma Island is No. 1!

Mr. DickStock: Yes, these are his feet and video camera above, enjoying his time off from traveling all over Asia as an Electronic News Gathering cameraman. He supplied the very private & personal photo above.

Lamma - The Most Popular Island

When I'm not on the road I've often got a LOT of time on my hands. I burn a lot of time trollin' around the internet, stumbling across the strange and unusual.

One sight which caught my eye recently is something called grupthink.com. It's an oddly interesting, informal polling system. One of the first questions I encountered: "What's your favorite Island?"

Lamma-Gung published it in the Lamma.com.hk blog on 20 July, and he pointed out to me this morning, "LAMMA IS NUMBER ONE", as Lammaite have turned out in force and voted! For whatever THAT is worth :-)

However, I fear that if we don't get a lot more votes and fast, we'll be knocked out of first place by Ireland or Manhattan. Nobody wants to see that.

So go to Grupthink.com's "What's your favorite Island?" poll, register and vote for Lamma!

Tell your family, friends and neighbors to do likewise.

Then go and do something useful with your time!

Aug 5: Art & Entertainment News

So many creative activities are constantly going on in our small village, sometimes one daily Lamma-zine story just isn't enough to cover all the important news. Let's start a new occasional "Art & Entertainment News" section:

Art Jam @ Deli Lamma:

The Deli Lamma was filled with canvases and easels today, from 11am till well into the afternoon. Aspiring artists (new recruits for CALI, the Community of Artists on Lamma Island?) were creating acrylic paintings with a wide range of subjects. Organised by VividVibrations, more of these creative workshops, called art jams, are planned to happen soon.

Life 100 exhibition by Nadia Ying:

Local celebrity, former proprietor of the 2nd-hand shop and former Lamma-zine Artist of the Month Nadia is exhibiting her illustrations in Taikoo Shing on HK Island from Aug 1-11 (8am-9pm, 1/F Devon House, Taikoo Place, Island East).

She writes (translation from Chinese by Samson, thanks!): "The exhibition features 100 fortune telling cards, designed by yours truly with a unique meaning to match the various special situations in life. Whatever the occasion, it is in the cards. I hope the cards will satisfy your curiosity! If you couldn't make it to the exhibition, you might see these fortune telling cards reprinted at Homeless in Tsimshatsui and Central."

Sinister Seraphina in the Finals:

Another brand-new Lamma band, formed by local celebrities, just made it into the SoundBase Festival 2006 Acoustic Band Competition Finals with their original song "Not Here"! "Sinister Seraphina" members. From left � right:

Nel Inciong � guitar and vocals � added a few more words and arranged the melodies and chords into one.
Ivy Fernie � on vocals � wrote lyrics.
Mark Shoulder � bass � added groovy bass lines which made a big difference as well.

Nel: "The song �Not Here� is about this very shy lady longing for her lost love but couldn't express herself outright. She began to open herself up then tried different ways to forget but still ended up lost � and lost for words."

Wish them all the best and support them at the finals:

Fri, Aug 11, 7:30pm, Theatre, Sheung Wan Civic Centre. Ticket: $80, URBTIX outlets. 20 finalists.

Taoist god of healing Lu Chun Yang - First photo in Steve
Cray's blog.

3 More Lamma Bloggers:

Welcome to fellow Lamma bloggers Simon, Randolph and Steve Cray! They all set up their free blogs with Google's Blogger program, hosted for free on Google's Blogspot, probably the biggest Internet home for bloggers nowadays.

I used their great service when they founded it four years ago, till I decided to go hand-made for this Lamma-zine Blog, mainly for full-flexibility reasons. Check out these 3 new blogs and let them know what you like:

Live on Lamma � by Simon Li (plus beautiful Lamma Fun Day 2005 photos)

Gay and the City � by Randolph (in Chinese)

HONG KONG NOTEBOOK � by Steve Cray (brand-new photo blog)

Live on Lamma, got a blog? Let me know, if you'd like more visitors by being featured in the Lamma-zine! Even if you don't live here, but your blog features Lamma prominently, let me know!

Aug 4: First, Last Rays for Dalai, Her Fluffiness

Petri - Human Companion of Her Fluffiness:

Dalai In Memoriam

18 March 1997 - 01 August 2006

Early Tuesday morning, Dalai, Her Fluffiness, caught the first rays of the August sun and rode one away from us.

She was comfortable and being held as she took off for her next journey.

She'll be cremated today (Friday), so it would be nice if you'd also spend the day being extra considerate and compassionate towards the people you meet in the course of the day...

(The "Flying Carpet" atop a Lamma hill)

Aug 3: Summer Rain

Eric Sampson - Official Court Poet
(photos by Lamma-Gung; click them for more rainy photos)

Hong Kong

summer

rain

inevitable

but this

land slip

flash flood

deluge

115 mm

an hour

R A I N

Wake up

3 am

Roof drumming

Windows leak

River in

Bed Room

Black

R A I N

Step outside

Wind

Roars

Breath taking

Open mouth

Close quick or

Drown

Glorious

Summer

R A I N

Aug 2: Lamma Fun Day Needs Volunteers!

Sonya (email) and Zein (email) - Lamma Fun Day organisers:

Dear Lamma Community!

It's that time of year again and Lamma Fun Day NEEDS YOU!!!

Last year's Lamma Fun Day raised over HK$145,000!

Last year was a huge success and we would like to see a repeat of this. However, probably more so than in year's past, WE NEED HELP!!

At the moment, we are gauging interest for Section Coordinators. If past Coordinators are still interested or if you know anyone who would be perfect and willing to take on a certain amount of responsibility - and execute on their said commitments - please contact us ASAP!!!

Below are some of the positions that exist and a brief mention of initiatives and responsibilities for each, please help us by sending this around to people you know.

If you or anyone you know would be willing to help a worthwhile cause, please contact us ASAP! Thanks!

Overall Coordinator: This person will need to liaise with Zein and Sonya, as well as all the Section Coordinators to ensure all details are looked after.

Stalls Coordinator: We need someone willing to go around and recruit stall holders in order to raise the quality of stalls participating. On the day, the coordinator will simply need to ensure stallholders are OK.

Entertainment Coordinator: Without this element, LFD would not have the fantastic atmosphere that it does every year. We need someone to recruit fabulous musicians, organize the stage, sounds system and program for this day. A big job but great fun!

Food Coordinator: We have had tremendous success with this and would like to see even more establishments participating. Early confirmation of involvement could mean advertising placement of logos on marketing material. This also includes, transportation of food, set-up and management of the stall on the day.

Bric-a-Brac Coordinator: This is one of the biggest $$ earners for LFD. Every year we seem to get more and more items to sell so finding storage space, moving of all the items to storage and to the site are the main responsibilities.

Bar Coordinator: Last year was a tremendous success. Responsibilities include organizing the license, finding a good source of cheap drinks, managing set-up, money, overall running of the bar on the day.

Children's Games Coordinator: Kids love playing on the beach and we need games to keep them occupied and having fun!

Volleyball Coordinator: It would be great to include the many teams in Hong Kong that exist. Responsibilities include recruiting of players, formation of program and managing the games on the day etc.

Volunteers Coordinator: Without volunteers, this day would not happen! After last year�s successful recruiting of the many volunteers (over 70!) we now have a good database from which to draw on again. Further recruiting, scheduling times and ensuring attendance on the day is crucial in making this a success.

Press Coordinator: Any of you with strong press contacts who can help spread the word, send out email flyers, poster distribution, write press releases, meet press deadlines, coordinate with websites, convince press to give coverage, etc. All this makes the day an even greater success by drawing the crowds to the island.

Look forward to hearing from you! Please sign up now!

Aug 1: Hungry Ghosts Roam the Island Again

The Chinese calendar is featuring a double ghost month this year, which only happens every forty years. So we'll have to worry about hungry ghosts roaming at night for twice the time of a regular year. There are lots of graves on some of Lamma's hills. So ghost stories abound and spread in whispers throughout the village, being astonishingly popular even with the most modern locals and many Westerners as well. All the locally-made ghost movies enforce these beliefs.

I've been doing photo shoots of the fascinating Yu Lan festival at the YSW Tin Hau temple for some years now: Yu Lan Festival 2003, 2005. It serves to appease the hungry ghosts, feed them and keep them away from the living.

I'm happy to publish the photos of a much better photographer than myself this year, multi-talented local celebrity Prof Red Star (Steve Cray) who also works as a highly esteemed photojournalist at the SCM Post. Looking at these simply beautiful photos below, it's no wonder he's "highly esteemed".

Enjoy by clicking on the photos below to enlarge them, Sun, July 30 2006:

Lamma-zine Blog started on Sep 1, 2004, and will be updated frequently with anything related to Lamma Island or its residents, be it news, stories, events or photos.

Contact Lamma-Gung with anything relevant to Lamma that you'd like to see published on this home page!

All text, photos & graphics by Lamma-Gung, if not otherwise credited. Click on button on left for Creative Commons license.

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